Been awhile but the waiting game takes a while. Had a great week up on the Bruce Peninsula near Lion's Head with Bet. Friends came and joined us for a couple of nights. Although the weather wasn't the best we had a great time. Very relaxing.
Back at work yesterday and as we all know the e-mails and phone messages were waiting. Discovered one positive about having cancer, I was considered a person at risk so was eligible for the early release of the H1N1 vaccine. Normally I don't obtain the flu shot but I must admit I was concerned about contracting it and not being able to follow up on my surgery date. Actually had both the H1N1 and seasonal shots just to be on the safe side. Just under 5 weeks now. Sometime in the next week or so my pre-operative appointment will be scheduled so I'll have more info at that time as to what to expect.
While receiving my shots today a friend from campus, another prostate victim, came in for his shots and we compared notes. I may have mentioned in a previous blog that he had surgery but in his case some cancerous cells had escaped previously and he was on hormones for a few months however his last PSA test was 0.0 so he has a few months reprieve from the hormone treatment. Hopefully it will continue at that level for a while although who knows. Wishing him the best.
I assume as time gets shorter to Dec 7th I might be posting a bit more as I prepare myself. I keep doing my Kegel exercises at opportune moments, although not as much as I should. I am doing them as I sit here typing. Bet took a mindfulness course and a big component of it was body scans and I have been doing a few with her. I find my mind wanders at times but it is relaxing and definitely trains one to let things go.
take care
Tuesday, November 3, 2009
Wednesday, October 14, 2009
How you doing?
I had someone ask me how I was doing today and I proceeded to answer honestly as I am apt to do with a straight forward '"Fine". They looked at me curiously and then proceeded to apologize for their mistake saying they had heard I had prostate cancer. This exchange got me thinking even more seriously about how I should answer questions such as this.
Physically I feel fine; at times I am mentally pre-occupied; emotionally it is a bit of a roller coaster but then the same probably could have been said before my re-diagnosis. How should I answer individuals? Looking back I guess we tend to answer the 'How are doing? question from a physical point of view since that is what most enquirers mean. I guess I'll just have gauge the questioner in the future as to what they are really asking.
Having mentioned the emotional side of the equation, it is a real aspect of any illness. Whether it is a head cold, the flu, a broken leg or the BIG 'C' we get caught up in the emotional side of the diagnosis. People who know me well know I have my times and I will have them in the future however I am not going to allow them to rule my outlook. A friend advised me to always put myself on the positive side of any statistical analysis of my cancer journey and that was sage advice. It may be a bit of black humour but statistically, using the guidelines set up by some group, I was cured after my brachytherapy treatment, even though the cancer has returned. This was due to my PSA being within a certain range 5 years after treatment. I'll look up that guideline for a later post.
If you have questions about any of my posts please do ask.
slainte
ric
Physically I feel fine; at times I am mentally pre-occupied; emotionally it is a bit of a roller coaster but then the same probably could have been said before my re-diagnosis. How should I answer individuals? Looking back I guess we tend to answer the 'How are doing? question from a physical point of view since that is what most enquirers mean. I guess I'll just have gauge the questioner in the future as to what they are really asking.
Having mentioned the emotional side of the equation, it is a real aspect of any illness. Whether it is a head cold, the flu, a broken leg or the BIG 'C' we get caught up in the emotional side of the diagnosis. People who know me well know I have my times and I will have them in the future however I am not going to allow them to rule my outlook. A friend advised me to always put myself on the positive side of any statistical analysis of my cancer journey and that was sage advice. It may be a bit of black humour but statistically, using the guidelines set up by some group, I was cured after my brachytherapy treatment, even though the cancer has returned. This was due to my PSA being within a certain range 5 years after treatment. I'll look up that guideline for a later post.
If you have questions about any of my posts please do ask.
slainte
ric
Monday, October 12, 2009
A day late
Today is the day I'm sending the blog link out to some friends. Until now I have been more or less writing for myself. Presupposing that some will read it I wonder if it will change my writing, or at least my thinking of what I will write.
Well, I've said it once before in my brief blogging career: Don't post when I plan on posting next, it doesn't happen!
Anyway the four of us had a great hike yesterday starting at Forks of the Credit park, joining the Bruce Trail, taking the Brimstone Sidetrail to rejoin the Bruce, followed the Credit back to the Cataract area and then to the car. Lots of people out looking at the fall colour. Dropped in on my friend Dorothy, but she wasn't at her cabin. The girls were impressed with her lodging in the woods. I was most disappointed they didn't get to meet her. She is one of my respected friends. Went to the Woolie for dinner on our return.
Today we took the girls back into Toronto. Elspeth to catch her train to Ottawa and Luchan back to her apartment.
Bet and I have been a bit lazy tonight, essentially doing a bit of nothing. TV & reading.
I called London Friday to see if my pre-admission appointment had been scheduled and they said sometime the first week of November I should get a call with a date & time. 8 weeks from now I should be comfortably?? settled into my room at Victoria Hospital, probably starving after not having eaten anything solid for 60+ hours.
Well, I've said it once before in my brief blogging career: Don't post when I plan on posting next, it doesn't happen!
Anyway the four of us had a great hike yesterday starting at Forks of the Credit park, joining the Bruce Trail, taking the Brimstone Sidetrail to rejoin the Bruce, followed the Credit back to the Cataract area and then to the car. Lots of people out looking at the fall colour. Dropped in on my friend Dorothy, but she wasn't at her cabin. The girls were impressed with her lodging in the woods. I was most disappointed they didn't get to meet her. She is one of my respected friends. Went to the Woolie for dinner on our return.
Today we took the girls back into Toronto. Elspeth to catch her train to Ottawa and Luchan back to her apartment.
Bet and I have been a bit lazy tonight, essentially doing a bit of nothing. TV & reading.
I called London Friday to see if my pre-admission appointment had been scheduled and they said sometime the first week of November I should get a call with a date & time. 8 weeks from now I should be comfortably?? settled into my room at Victoria Hospital, probably starving after not having eaten anything solid for 60+ hours.
Saturday, October 10, 2009
Thanksgiving dinner, why do we eat so much?
Great day, got some more painting done, looking forward to a hike tomorrow. I have shared my musings with a few individuals and they say sure why not put it out there for others to read. If they don't want to, they won't. I guess it is already out there for others to read if they look for it so I think I'm going to send the link out to individuals and see what happens.
That's all for this missive, till tomorrow.
Great day, got some more painting done, looking forward to a hike tomorrow. I have shared my musings with a few individuals and they say sure why not put it out there for others to read. If they don't want to, they won't. I guess it is already out there for others to read if they look for it so I think I'm going to send the link out to individuals and see what happens.
That's all for this missive, till tomorrow.
Sunday, October 4, 2009
Decion made
This past Wednesday Bet and I made the trip down 401 for a 10:10 appointment with Dr. Chin, my surgeon of choice. As with my first appointment with him he was running approximately 2 hours late. Amazingly no one in the waiting room seemed particularly agitated as they read, paced or chatted with the individual seated across from them. Snippets of conversation could be heard: 'I'd wait all day for my appointment, he's the best' and 'Did you see how small his hands are, that's why he's so good'. For the most part I would say it was a slightly older demographic than me, which I would have expected. Even though this is my second go round I'm still on the young side for prostate cancer in general.
We finally were called into an examination room and waited another 20 minutes or so before he came in to see us. We once again reviewed my stats, asked a few more questions, received the answers and confirmed our decision to have surgery. Hormone treatment, while still an option, will be put on hold and only used after surgery if tests show that cancer cells have escaped the prostate and are somewhere in my system. He explained the procedure for a radical retropubic prostatectomy, answered more questions and then said he'd have his staff set me up for the first available time slot. Once again, I left the appointment feeling that I was in capable hands, I really liked this man and the time he took to explain and answer our questions. No wonder he was running behind schedule.
Down the hall to see Carol, fill in a questionnaire and get booked for December7th at 2:00 pm. Slotted into the OR for 4 hours, spend 2 or 3 nights and then head home. Sounds good.
As I type this I am 9 weeks away that date. Can't say that I am looking forward to it but ..... Not much to do between now and then but wait. Will keep all posted as the time draws near.
We finally were called into an examination room and waited another 20 minutes or so before he came in to see us. We once again reviewed my stats, asked a few more questions, received the answers and confirmed our decision to have surgery. Hormone treatment, while still an option, will be put on hold and only used after surgery if tests show that cancer cells have escaped the prostate and are somewhere in my system. He explained the procedure for a radical retropubic prostatectomy, answered more questions and then said he'd have his staff set me up for the first available time slot. Once again, I left the appointment feeling that I was in capable hands, I really liked this man and the time he took to explain and answer our questions. No wonder he was running behind schedule.
Down the hall to see Carol, fill in a questionnaire and get booked for December7th at 2:00 pm. Slotted into the OR for 4 hours, spend 2 or 3 nights and then head home. Sounds good.
As I type this I am 9 weeks away that date. Can't say that I am looking forward to it but ..... Not much to do between now and then but wait. Will keep all posted as the time draws near.
Saturday, September 26, 2009
Saturday thoughts
Spent the day scraping, caulking and painting exterior windows and garage door. Getting close to having everything with at least a primer coat and one finish coat. Second finish coat may wait til spring depending on what the weather does. Still have the storm windows to do but they are in the basement and I can do them inside before taking out. Bet is away for the weekend with her Edward Johnson friends. Four of them went to Prince Edward County to visit a few wineries and a couple of neat restaurants we found when we were there in July.
Started to rain so I took advantage of the quiet and did the body scan Bet has been doing for her mindfulness course. I find the more I do it the better I am at it. I still have some issues in keeping my mind from wandering however I find it does relax me. Going to have dinner with friends this evening, looking forward to it.
This will be my 4th post and I am finding it easier to write, even though in re-reading it seems a bit scattered but it will get better I presume. I just realized that I don't think I mentioned the prostate support group meeting I went to the other evening. They were having a guest speaker, one of the radiation oncologists from Grand River Cancer Centre, so I thought I would go. A large turnout, I was the youngest in the room by at least 5 years and considering I was diagnosed 6 years ago I was definitely the exception in the crowd. Only 1 other individual had received brachytherapy and so far his results are still positive. It was interesting to hear the doctor speak about his preferences and brachytherapy definitely ranks low on his list. I sat beside an old friend who had surgery about 4 years ago and has had followup radiation and is now on hormones. He quite likes this doctor but perhaps because of his attitude in the public meeting I found that I was quite defensive.
slainte, Ric
Started to rain so I took advantage of the quiet and did the body scan Bet has been doing for her mindfulness course. I find the more I do it the better I am at it. I still have some issues in keeping my mind from wandering however I find it does relax me. Going to have dinner with friends this evening, looking forward to it.
This will be my 4th post and I am finding it easier to write, even though in re-reading it seems a bit scattered but it will get better I presume. I just realized that I don't think I mentioned the prostate support group meeting I went to the other evening. They were having a guest speaker, one of the radiation oncologists from Grand River Cancer Centre, so I thought I would go. A large turnout, I was the youngest in the room by at least 5 years and considering I was diagnosed 6 years ago I was definitely the exception in the crowd. Only 1 other individual had received brachytherapy and so far his results are still positive. It was interesting to hear the doctor speak about his preferences and brachytherapy definitely ranks low on his list. I sat beside an old friend who had surgery about 4 years ago and has had followup radiation and is now on hormones. He quite likes this doctor but perhaps because of his attitude in the public meeting I found that I was quite defensive.
slainte, Ric
Friday, September 25, 2009
Thoughts
I seem to be late posting! Must learn not to think ahead but just post when the urge hits. As I said in my last post I made my decision to go with Dr. Chin. I had met with both Dr. Chin and Dr. Izawa and was impressed with both. Apparently if you kept score they are probably 1 and 2 as far as radical prostatectamys performed in Canada each year.
A bit of history. In Round 1 I was diagnosed very early. My PSA was only 1.84 with a Gleason score of 6. After consultations and deliberations I opted to have brachytherapy which surprised many individuals. As a young person many thought I was an ideal candidate for surgery however I was also an ideal candidate for brachy. The prostate was small, from the biopsy it appeared the cancer was localized, the Gleason score was low and I will admit it, the low incidence of side effects appealed to me.
The procedure went smoothly by all accounts. They keep you in the hospital for a short while - until you pee. I created a bit of excitement because they have you pee into what resembles a coffee filter in case you excrete one one of the radioactive pellets. In my case I did and this created a bit of excitement. Most of the nurses had never seen one and all had to have a gander. The hazardous waste squad arrived with their lead lined box to carry it away. Shortly after I was discharged and Bet and I headed for Guelph with me sitting on some bags of frozen peas to keep the swelling down. I also had some of the coffee filters to pee in and a special container to place pellets in in case I passed any more. Special mailing instructions as well.
Follow-up PSAs went according to expected with slight variations but all in the acceptably low category until mid 2008 when there was an escalation which caused some concern but the thought was that this could be the 'bump' and the next reading would be low. Unfortunately this was not the case and it has continued to rise, in fact doubling about every 6 months.
I had a biopsy performed in May of 2009 at Victoria Hospital by Dr. Izawa. You'll have to excuse me if I have some of the details incorrect but I believe 12 cores were taken with 9 having cancerous cells present in varying amounts. This procedure was not without moments of humour. After radiation the prostate gland takes on the characteristic of gristle in your favourite cut of beef making penetration by the biopsy needle somewhat difficult. Indeed in some cases the needle was being bent as Izawa tried to penetrate the gland.
Pathology reports indicated a Gleason score of 7, somewhat higher than the report of 2002. It is also located in all 4 quadrants of the gland. This has led to the speculation that this is a secondary invasion of cancer and not a remnant of the first go round. Doesn't matter, all I know is that it is there.
What lies ahead? I'm not sure, hopefully all will become clear after our trip to London on Wednesday. At some point I htink I will go public with my musings for any to read who wish. Men need to be more aware of this cancer which will afflict many of them. It is said that most men die with prostate cancer, not of it. I'm sure this is true but probably truer is that no man needs to die of it if they had proper testing.
Til I post again, slainte Ric
A bit of history. In Round 1 I was diagnosed very early. My PSA was only 1.84 with a Gleason score of 6. After consultations and deliberations I opted to have brachytherapy which surprised many individuals. As a young person many thought I was an ideal candidate for surgery however I was also an ideal candidate for brachy. The prostate was small, from the biopsy it appeared the cancer was localized, the Gleason score was low and I will admit it, the low incidence of side effects appealed to me.
The procedure went smoothly by all accounts. They keep you in the hospital for a short while - until you pee. I created a bit of excitement because they have you pee into what resembles a coffee filter in case you excrete one one of the radioactive pellets. In my case I did and this created a bit of excitement. Most of the nurses had never seen one and all had to have a gander. The hazardous waste squad arrived with their lead lined box to carry it away. Shortly after I was discharged and Bet and I headed for Guelph with me sitting on some bags of frozen peas to keep the swelling down. I also had some of the coffee filters to pee in and a special container to place pellets in in case I passed any more. Special mailing instructions as well.
Follow-up PSAs went according to expected with slight variations but all in the acceptably low category until mid 2008 when there was an escalation which caused some concern but the thought was that this could be the 'bump' and the next reading would be low. Unfortunately this was not the case and it has continued to rise, in fact doubling about every 6 months.
I had a biopsy performed in May of 2009 at Victoria Hospital by Dr. Izawa. You'll have to excuse me if I have some of the details incorrect but I believe 12 cores were taken with 9 having cancerous cells present in varying amounts. This procedure was not without moments of humour. After radiation the prostate gland takes on the characteristic of gristle in your favourite cut of beef making penetration by the biopsy needle somewhat difficult. Indeed in some cases the needle was being bent as Izawa tried to penetrate the gland.
Pathology reports indicated a Gleason score of 7, somewhat higher than the report of 2002. It is also located in all 4 quadrants of the gland. This has led to the speculation that this is a secondary invasion of cancer and not a remnant of the first go round. Doesn't matter, all I know is that it is there.
What lies ahead? I'm not sure, hopefully all will become clear after our trip to London on Wednesday. At some point I htink I will go public with my musings for any to read who wish. Men need to be more aware of this cancer which will afflict many of them. It is said that most men die with prostate cancer, not of it. I'm sure this is true but probably truer is that no man needs to die of it if they had proper testing.
Til I post again, slainte Ric
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